4 Tips On Developing Your Urge To Win

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Ask yourself:
1. Do I tend to be jealous? Does it bother me to see someone else have success? Do I envy the Santoses for their new car, or the Reyeses for their new house? Do I resent Efren because he's doing well in the same business that I'm in? Do I feel ill at ease when I meet somebody who is dressed better than I? Am I upset by the successful exploits of others?

2. Do I tend to be critical? Criticism is a form of unconscious competition. It means that I'm trying to find a soft spot in someone's armor, a point at which I can compete and come out on top. Gossip is a form of criticism. It's an attempt to pull oneself up by pulling others down. We win by derogation. If we can't beat a person fair and square beat him by slaughtering him in a defenseless circumstance.

3. Do I have to win? The desire to have some overt sign of success is great when there are feelings of unconscious competition. Anything can become a contest, even the desire to have the last word or the desire to beat the field at the traffic light or the need to be best dressed or the need to get there first. These are all illustrations of the necessity to win. The individual who continually feels compelled to "top" the story told by another is a person with a strong need to win.

4. Do I have a secret fear that I'm a nobody? This is basic to the problem of unconscious competition. It is the secret dread of realizing that "I'm not the person I feel that I should be" that's the instigator of the Competition. If I fear that I'm not as good as I must think I am then I'm bound to prove that the fear is wrong. I enter into competition with anything that seems to evoke this fear in me.

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