4 Basic Tips On The Art Of Paying Attention To Troubled People

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. One advantage of subscribing to RSS feeds is that you don't have to constantly re-visit this site to check for updates within specific sections you might be interested in because your browser or Feed reader will do this for you automatically on a regular basis plus you can even get email notification. Thanks for visiting!

1. Learn to listen deeply. The art of paying attention in­volves stretching out your mind and heart and focusing on the other person with all the intensity and aware­ness that you can command. It was only when we urged the husband to pay deep attention to his wife, to stretch out his mind and imagination in listening to her, that he understood the real motivation for her behavior. It was fear that he might find their friends more at­tractive than he found her. Once the husband was able to grasp this, the solution was obvious: more under­standing, more demonstrative affection, more reassur­ance. But without deep listening, such awareness would have been impossible.

2. Teach your ego to hold its breath. All of us are self centered much of the time. Each of us is an actor try­ing to impress an audience, to take the center of the stage. But if you want to pay close attention to an­other human being, you must train your own attention hungry ego to stop striving for the spotlight and let on

the other person. We have a name for people who fail consistently to do this; we call them bores. On the other hand, there are people whose self effacement is almost heroic. A well balanced person is much more likely to have this capacity for self effacement than an insecure one. This means that before you can learn to pay deep attention to another person, you must first pay attention to yourself, unravel your own emotional tangles. This, surely, is what the Bible means by its commandments to "love thy neighbor as thyself." It is saying that we can't love our neighbor unless we are at peace with ourselves. Few of us can achieve total selflessness. But each of us can try, and the closer we come, the more we will be able to pay healing atten­tion to those who need it.

3. Practice patience. Paying close attention is not a matter of offering snap judgments. Often it requires wait­ing, listening, standing by until the person you are pay­ing attention to works out his own salvation.

4. Be concerned. There's no use paying attention or pretending to pay attention to a person unless you honestly care about him, unless you are willing to share his pains and problems. Professional counselors must maintain an air of detachment and impersonality, but must also care. The troubled person must sense that care otherwise nothing can be accomplished. This ca­pacity to project concern lies at the heart of all deep and lasting human relationships. And the marvelous thing about it is that once the unhappy person feels that somebody cares about him, he is often able to begin caring more about others. Love liberates love: it's as direct and as miraculous as that. Attention can take any forms as there are human needs. It can even be enforcement of discipline' where discipline is lacking. The golden coin of attention — learn to pay it gracious­ly and gladly, and the dividends will come pouring back to you.

Article copyright BookOfTips.Blogspot.Com - Find helpful tips that can help you with your daily activities. All rights reserved. No part of an article may be reproduced without the prior permission.

4 Basic Tips On The Art Of Paying Attention To Troubled People - Related Tips / Tricks / Hacks

If you enjoyed this post Subscribe to our feed

No Comment

Post a Comment